Why You Need to Delete “That’s Not Me” From Your Vocabulary

Picture by Adrianna Calvo


Remember the last time you met a good friend, say at a café or restaurant.

A seriously attractive woman walks in: Red lipsticks, heels. She turns heads, and with a mixture of admiration and doubt you say: “Wow, I wish I could pull that off.” Your friend wants to be a good friend, of course, and replies:”You mean the red lips? You can totally wear that!” To which you shake your head and say: “Nah, that’s not me.”

I don’t come from a place of bitter judgement here because I am You. Or let’s say, I was until two days ago, when I decided that it is totally fine to wear burgundy lipstick to go grocery shopping. Or yesterday, when I decided that one person cannot be this unqualified in doing her own hair and did a fancy braid for the first time.


Why do we still have to talk about this, you ask? Because every day, thousands of women stand in front of the mirror and put on their clothes and whatever they want to put on out of the safety of their comfort zone. And this doesn’t mean that you are boring if you gag at the thought of colouring your lips or if you don’t like heels and prefer comfy shoes and jeans.

I don’t hate on tomboys because I am one. But I also love dresses and sometimes my face could use some colour, I guess. And we are so consumed with what other people think of us, that we let them create our own self. Until we have this distorted view of who we have to be, so that we’re likeable, and what we can and cannot do due to our personalities and image.

Red lipstick isn’t only for women wearing Louboutins and fancy sunglasses. Doing something with you hair other than washing and brushing it doesn’t make you an obnoxious, superficial person. I always thought if I care so much about my appearance and make it obvious, by wearing jewellery or make-up, people would suddenly see me as less intelligent.


I didn’t want to hear compliments for my looks because they aren’t an accomplishment. But then, I envied the awesome women that had great looks everyday because they were so comfortable and so confident with it.


Fun observations I made in the last few days:

  1. Red lipstick is awkward at first, but then it makes me feel like I can take on anything.
  2. Guys and Gals will be staring at you nonetheless. The more you accept and ignore it, the better you feel.
  3. If you actually feel beautiful wearing something and don’t wear it because you think others will judge you or ask weird questions….they actually won’t. And if they do, smile and say: Why not?


We have to get over the fact that there are things that “are us” and “aren’t us”. If you don’t like something, ignore it. If you love something, show it.


I think you would be surprised how easy it is to step out of your comfort zone. Bonus info: The sun’s really brighter out there 😉



This post was first published on Medium.


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