Recently, I have been caught in this spiral of a motivational up and down. Mostly down, let’s be honest.
Fitness has been a part of my life for a very long time, until it wasn’t anymore. It was something that I shared a common interest in with my father. Going for runs, racing together and watching sports games on TV.
When it wasn’t a part of my life anymore, I didn’t feel the change at first. Sports ed was something you did in school because it was obligatory. Apart from that, I didn’t really move a lot.
Only a 18, 3 years ago, when I discovered ballet and jazz dance, my spirit came back. Moving was enjoyable again, it feel light although I saw the training change my body. But more importantly, it changed my mindset and set the tone for my fitness-related future.
I did a disciplined two months of running, did the 5k and lost all motivation to work out again a few weeks ago. And although I did see that my body wasn’t a hundred percent as toned as before and my back hurt again, I mostly saw what the lack of movement did to my mind, general energy levels and my mood.
Everything thinks of exercise as a means to lose weight first. That’s entirely true and workouts are crucial for a healthy lifestyle and yes, all the squats will make you look hot, sure, but we often neglect the effect that it has on our soul.
I’ve said before that constant exercise makes me want to punch people in the face less often, and as much as it’s exaggerated (not really though), it has some truth to it. I am struggling with anxiety and sweating the small stuff like a pro and that surely doesn’t go away overnight, but still, if I am involved in sports, I have less energy to think about slightly unimportant things.
Learning how to stop worrying about things I cannot change and influencing my life where I can instead, is a huge thing for me right now. So I have to get back into a routine. I am fully aware of the fact that this an old hat of a concept. But most people are so obsessed with tracking the physical results of their exercise and I think I don’t want to participate in that anymore. Looks are important, but they simply aren’t everything to me.
In the end, on a very, very small scale, you are the only person in your life, right? You walk around in this very one body for a lifetime, you feel your own feelings and you nuture your own soul. This dependance and obsession with being someone for somebody other than yourself is tiring. Stop counting calories, stop weighing yourself everyday. Stop running to the gym if you are more of the yoga-dancey type or love swimming, and swimming only. Find what excites you about movement and stick to that. Eat a fresh salad, then go on to eat some fresh ice cream or cake, if you fancy that more.
Forget about what people tell you about bodies. In the end, you are one body amongst billions. Ask yourself if you want to be unique and happy or a miserable duplicate.