Recently, I thought a lot about my future. I am in the midst of my undergraduate studies, but I already think about the “after”, which will take another 1-2 years until it’s eventually there and real – but I learned from my mistake from last year, when I didn’t have ANY plan and broke down mentally and physically because I didn’t know what to do with myself and my (what I convinced myself of) nonsensical almost-degree.
I surely have the option to apply to Grad school, which would be financially responsible, since my funding ends when I interrupt my academic education, for example to go travelling. I talked with a friend who is a journalism trainee about how I want to see the world and be free and satiate my wanderlust and cravings for more space. Maybe I just go to another city to study my Master’s degree, as options around here are limited anyways. Maybe I postpone it to a later point in my life when I am sure that I truly need it.
Not surprising, but you actually have to find what you want to do with your life and how you see yourself earning your income in order to determine if Grad school is necessary or more of a waste of time and if you plan to do it, just because “it’s what you do” – and not what is beneficial to your resumé or experiences.
As I am trying to save as much money as possible (I am going to write a seperate post on that) because I don’t know what I will need it for specifically, I am killing free time with what I enjoy most: Reading and writing.
There, I said it. It’s what is most fulfilling for me, other than performing. And I could see myself earning money with writing fiction and plays. But I don’t right now because writing is not a priority and I am not really able to focus on it between school and 2 jobs.
I read a lot about how to be a good/better writer, how to deifne yourself as an artist. Also, I really like the YT channel The Financial Diet because one of the hosts, Chelsea, is a writer. And she talks about how she didn’t take herself seriously as a writer at first and how she would negate her own work.
Also, there is this line of: If you write, then you’re a writer. I think it is as easy as that, in a way because you don’t need to earn your income with writing to be a writer. It’s a skill you can improve, in my opinion, and you can learn different techniques and nice stuff like that. But you cannot learn how to do it, either you know how to write something people will want to read for any reason or not. It’s a matter of talent and not everyone has it.
Needless to say that you don’t need to write for other people. But if you want your stuff to be marketable, you cannot just write anything. The competition is frightening and I would never consider my things to be worthy of giving them to a publishing house.
But that’s like sitting in your bedroom, blinds closed, waiting for your dream guy or girl to magically show up at your door and ask you to marry you because you’re soulmates and have been searching for each other your whole lives. If nobody sees you and your work, nobody will notice, hire or pay you for it.
I think blogging for me is a simple way to test the waters as well as getting my thoughts out int the world. Writing for me is not simply a passion, it’s an essential part of my life and an urge I cannot contain. We never know where we will end up. But it’s important to find the thing or things that you excel at. That you, even in your most pessimistic state, think you’re better at than anyone else.
We get told everyday that chasing our dreams is stupid and we need to do what’s necessary, right, important, socially accepted, secure and so on. Why do people not do what makes them really be themselves instead of playing the part of the impostor for most of their life? Nobody has the right to tell you that your ambitions are stupid or unworthy. If you yourself believe in the value of your own wishes, you are in a great place to start.